Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Chris Muir- I Just Don't Get It

Is the funny comic thing SO over, and I just missed the memo? Apparently so. I've been casting about, looking (unsuccessfully) for a funny comic strip to read. Someone on Pandagon had linked to Chris Muir's Day By Day, and even though they had unfavorable things to say about the site, I followed the link. Big mistake.

I just have a few questions.

1. Why are the women always in various states of undress? I'm not just talking scantily clad, I'm talking running around in panties. Are women in panties funnier than fully-clothed women?

2. Why aren't the men in various states of undress? Are fully clothed men funnier, or more ironic?

3. Why do both of the men have skeevy facial hair, and pretty much look like each other, except one is black, and one is white? Is facial hair supposed to be funny? Or cool? I bet C. Muir has facial hair. Any takers?

4. Are the little character bios supposed to be jokes? They are the only funny thing on the site.

"Zed- 45 year old seen-it-all ex military sniper. Not ready for the civilian workforce, he takes on any work that will help his family, daughters Mari and Kiko, and wife Sam."

"Sam- Smoldering redhead who finds herself as a new mom with two daughters at age 39 with her husband Zed. An engineer, she's often in conflict with her overwhelming feminine side."

From this, I can conclude a few things: 1.) Cartoon ex-snipers have more fun than real ex-snipers (I know one. You wouldn't want to write a comic about him. On second thought, maybe you would...) 2.) Chris Muir has never been a woman. Or an engineer. 3.)In an earlier cartoon, he must explain the logic behind Sam the engineer dropping out of the workforce to raise the kids, while the ex sniper who isn't "ready" for civilian jobs takes whatever he can scrounge. I'll bet that explanation has something to do with Sam's "overwhelming" femininity that "compels" her to the mommy track.

5. What's up with "smoldering" Sam and her twin baybees? Why is she always juggling them? They have no point. Kinda like real baybees, only these comic baybees have cool Japanese names. Why are people fascinated with the idea of twins?

6. Chris Muir is a little confused. Check out the 8/29 strip, second panel.

Which of these things is not like the other? Oh, yeah. "No Child Left Behind" was a Bush policy, not something concocted by the "liberals". Unlike tofu, of course. Tofu is definitely a liberal plot. But why, then, does Muir have hip ex-sniper Zed and brainy-but-smouldering-and so VERY feminine Sam naming their spawn after...Tofu eaters?! Also, in the 8/19 panel, he has hot-as-hell redhead sexpot Sam breastfeeding one of the twins, but on 8/24, she's bottle feeding. Does she breastfeed one twin, and bottle feed the other? Is this perhaps some cruel experiment? Or maybe Muir doesn't know squat about baybees (or women), and just thinks its hawt to draw women being motherly.

7. Is this a political strip, ala Doonesbury, or a parody of a political strip? I hope it's the later. If it's the former... Read this strip- Where is the Republican National Convention again? Oh, yeah. St. Paul, Minnesota.

Wow. Show me the unfunny, Mr. Muir.